User Blog:
Variables - Geek Dating Advice

Let me talk about geek dating. I think that almost everything I’ve read about ‘finding a geek girl’ is bullshit at best, insulting at worst. In fact, most of the advice I’ve seen either paints the guy or the girl in the equation as a total loser, trying to hook up with someone they don’t deserve to be around. Most also fall on a few common misconceptions about what a relationship is.

I’ve dated a number of geeks. I’ve had successful and fulfilling relationships with a number of them. While I consider myself very friendly to women’s issues, I like sex. Understand that. I have no problems with a good one-night stand so long as both parties understand going in (or at least I didn’t have problems with them. Now I’m in a happily committed relationship,) but initiating a one-night stand is fundamentally different than dating.

So let’s debunk a few myths:

Myth: Pickup lines work.

Almost every woman has heard their fair share of pickup lines. This article suggests using a ‘geek-friendly’ pickup line, “No way a hot girl like you has such mad skillz.” Total bullshit.

A good pickup line can move you towards a one-night stand. But it communicates to the female that you’re interested in moving quickly into physical intimacy. Also, that’s not a good pickup line. So you’re burned on both counts.

Myth: They want a guy that’s direct.

That’s a partial myth. They don’t like “The Nice Guy™.” If you even remotely think that you can’t get a date because you’re a Nice Guy, immediately go read this post by the hypertalented DivaLion. If you don’t get it, well… I’ll do an article on that later if you’re interested in solving your problems.

Don’t beat around the bush, but don’t be pushy. Make it clear that you’re not just trying to be friends. Often times, geeky types on both sides of the gender fence are more than a little insecure. They have to be comfortable with a person before pursuing a relationship. Taking it slow is not being old-fashioned.