Article:
Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse: Part 3

Picking the right location to hold out during the Zombie Apocalypse is very important, and a lot depends on where in the country you are and what you know of the local area. You’ve got to balance the ability to get supplies with defendability with living and sleeping and eating and all the rest of the things that go with life as you know it.

Let me be clear on this: Twitter isn’t going to be high on your priority list from here on in. OMGWTFBBQ Zombies!!! LOL.

Let’s start with the easy choices, and why they’re completely wrong.

THE PUB
Good luck on that choice. Yes, the pub has some living area, probably still occupied by the landlord and if you’re lucky you’ll find one of the few with a shotgun or rifle behind the bar. The downside of that is that far too many people will be heading there before you, and that gun? If there’s more than a dozen rounds for it then chances are it won’t have been cleaned, tested or fired within the past decade.

There’s too many windows, it’ll be overcrowded and the cooking arrangements will be limited to making toasties for the few days that you survive. Oh yes, and the driving attraction to going to the pub will involve beer. Which depends on electricity, which is going to die sooner or later, or hand pulled real ales if you’re lucky. Good luck on changing the barrels once the first load is done.

So once the electricity dies and you’ve still miraculously not been discovered by the zombie hoardes roaming the streets just outside the window you end up sitting in a dark dingy hole that smells of stale beer and wee with countless other people who haven’t washed since long before the siege began.

Good luck with that.

MALL / SHOPPING CENTRE
If you’ve learned anything from the films you’ve watched then you should know how bad an idea this really is. I’ll allow the concept that there is, in theory, everything that you could possibly need to survive in one of these places, but if you look around next time you visit such a place then you might wonder how often you’re going to need 150 different ladies fashion stores, multicoloured hair grips and scrunchies, self help books, a doughnut shop, a clockwork yapping dog and a Swarovski crystal giraffe.