Article:
Who hates Mario the most?

It’s said that if you want to understand a person, then you should look at the people around them.

If that’s true then it’s now certified that Mario is a dick.

Just look at his relationships with those closest to him. And by closest to him I don’t mean the goombas that he scrapes off his boots. I mean his brother, his pet, his girlfriend. If that’s not the three closest to him then who is, Bowser?

And I’m not even going to contemplate his relationship with the mushroom people, those happy smiling chappies that would do anything for him other than actually move in any way. Although they’re more than happy to let him devour members of their own species for a quick hit. Sidetracking… I’m not going to think about them.

First, his brother, Luigi.

Once upon a time they used to do things together, have adventures, bounce around, eradicate species, line dancing. Then the two grew apart and went separate ways, Mario dating Peach and Luigi started seeing Daisy. Luigi even started his own business as a Ghostbuster, though that name was apparently under copyright.

So there the trouble started. Maybe Luigi took on one haunted mansion too many, or maybe Mario just got jealous of his big little brother getting all the glory. Scratch that. Getting any glory whatsoever. So next time you see Luigi he’s begging for table scraps. It’s obvious that his ghost business has gone down the drain, his relationship with Daisy is obviously over, so is he given a job, a house, sympathy, some money, anything from his loving brother?

Do you even have to answer the question?

You know that anything that Luigi has from now on is scraped from Mario’s plate, like you would a diseased pet you’re hoping will die without too much of a vet’s bill. His karts are obvious hand me downs from Mario which Luigi has to respray to get any sense of identity, but the most damning truth of the matter comes when Mario is on his epic adventures.

Let’s face it Mario might have a tough job on his hand defeating bowser time after time. It’s a tough job dressing up as a bumblebee or a cloud and dodging fireballs and bullets big enough to destroy cities. But even then when Luigi offers to help, he’s essentially begging for a little taste of excitement from the sidelines and what does Mario do?