Review:
Bayonetta - A hairs width from perfection

Unfortunately, I tend to be drawn in by video game corporate propaganda. 'The biggest this!' the box claims, 'The greatest that!' the reviewer says... How can I resist? Sometimes I end up buying a dud, a game so hyped up that it might as well be 'Virtual Chess 9 – The Chessening', but some times, all is well in the world.

This is indeed the case with Bayonetta, a game I might be tempted to say was the closest thing to perfection I've ever set my eyes and hands upon. A game with curves in all the right places.

I think it would be unfair to review this game and not talk about Bayonetta herself. She looks some what like a librarian dominatrix with inventive late fees, and acts like it too. It seems pretty clear from early in the game that she would appeal to certain markets much more then others, if you know what I mean, nudge nudge wink wink.

But don't think for a minute that they took a shallow game, slapped some breasts in it and hoped for the best. A lot of time and effort must have gone into making a game so brilliantly playable and enjoyable, that stars must have flared and burnt out a billion times before this was completed... Or something.

Anyway, the story follows Bayonetta, a witch that tears through angels, sacrificing them to the underworld and stealing their halos for use as currency. Later, we learn that she was sealed in a coffin for 500 years, only to emerge, fresh as a daisy, to have forgotten just about everything from her past life.

So off you go, into the world to retrace your memories. But that's enough of the story, onto the combat! It is so over the top, it might as well be covered in gold, play a fan faire and shower you with confetti every 60 seconds whilst screaming 'woooooo!' in digital surround sound.

Ok, that wasn't a great example. Combat generally consists of chaining some punches and kicks that flow so easily into the next that its like some crazed, bullet riddled break dance, before dodging an incoming attack and kicking into Witch time.

Witch time is very much like bullet time, only you move at a normal pace, its just everything else that moves slowly. This at least allows you to chain much longer combos that turn anything in front of your fists to a fine paste.