Review:
Twilight: New Moon shines no light on vampires

The movie sucks.

Just kidding. I felt I had to overexaggerate the disappointment I had with this movie to conter-act the fanatical love this movie recieves from every girl between the ages 10-21. Remember when the first Twilight beat The Dark Knight for best picture at the MTV movie awards? That wasn't cool.

I love Vampires. Throw vampires into something, and it doesn’t matter how bad that something may be, I will watch it because it has vampires. Like Twilight for instance. I have not read the books. I was interested in them at one point. I had a girl give me a very long and detailed summary of the events in each book, so I could have a clear picture. I also read some of the 4th book, and decided I wasn’t going to read them from beginning to end. Personally, I find that they are poorly written and the romance isn’t my idea of romance. At all. In fact it’s kinda weird.

Take for example the first movie. Remember in the hospital when Edward tells Bella “Oh hey, I’m gonna have to leave you. It’s too dangerous to be around you” and she freaks out. She has like a panic attack, can’t breath, starts freaking out. It was that moment that I realized how wrong and unhealthy this love really was. She’s crazy, like grade A mental. There’s an old saying, that you don’t date crazy. Cause once you let them in their impossible to shake. Well Bella is crazy, and needs serious psychiatric help, and that destroys all the possible romance in those books.

So why did I go to the theatres to watch the second movie? It has vampires, and remember what I said about vampires? Anyway, if you’re like me, you’ll be disappointed to find that there actually aren’t all that many vampires in this movie. It’s all about werewolves, which if you were smart you would have already figured that from the title. Personally, I don’t like werewolves. They aren’t as cool as vampires.

Also if you’re like me, and by that I mean a man, you might be disappointed at the amount of shirtless men in this movie. I’m amazed this movie had a male director, and I have to question his sexuality because guys in this movie just can’t keep their shirt on. It happens over and over again, especially with Jacob the main werewolf dude. It got to the point where I was screaming at him to “Put a freaking shirt on already” There was one scene where he actually was wearing a shirt, and I applauded. Didn’t last very long though. Even Edward takes off his shirt, if you like pale hairy chests. My point is, if you’re a girl, then I just sold you on this movie. The girls I went with were all swooning, and it was kinda weird. Worst part, Kristen Stewert keeps her shirt on throughout the whole movie. Major drag.