User Blog:
Three Works So Original, They Had To Be Remade

So remakes, or ‘reboots’ are all the rage right now. You take something from the seventies, eighties or sometimes nineties, and you turn it into a television show or film. When I say something, I mean television shows, movies, cartoons, toys, drugs or other things that probably should have been left in their respective zeitgeists.

I’ll get this out of the way now: My Little Pony doesn’t need a live-action remake with explosions and underweight women.

I have a bias. As far as I’m concerned, only a small percentage of remakes are worth the film they’re recorded on. But this bit deals more specifically with a more invasive breed of remake: Remakes of things so new, the film is still warm from the premier. This is becoming remarkably common in certain genres, the most popular being Japanese horror films such as Ju-On/The Grudge, Ringu/The Ring and other similar works.

You see, Americans don’t like reading. This renders the idea of subtitles to be completely unpalatable. Sometimes, an odd joke is sufficiently cultural in nature that your average American doesn’t get it. This renders the entire film worthless to American audiences, similar to films with humor that doesn’t start with ‘a priest, a monk and a rabbi.’

So, without further ado, here are three remakes of wonderful, new things to look out for in the coming year or two. Or, you can just watch the originals. You can find them on Netflix under “new releases.” The originals are all deserving of 10/10 ratings. They’re each phenomenal in their own rights.

El Orfanato/The Orphanage

Guillermo del Toro produced this wonderful piece of horror just under two years ago. It’s a Spanish language film, the English subtitles are very good at conveying the messages of the story. It’s really quite simple, El Orfanato is a blend between a psychological horror flick and a traditional haunted house story. It explores a mother’s anguish when her AIDS-ridden adoptive son vanishes in the home she grew up in, an abandoned orphanage. She has difficulty with a husband that wants to remain rational, ignoring her stories of ghost children haunting the halls. The whole, minimalist story flows into a wonderful and powerful ending that leaves you asking, “did that just happen?”