LARPing is both a male and female activity and yet… there always seems to be one girl LARPer for every 10 to 15 guy LARPers. These numbers will change as the game grows larger or smaller and while some games do have a stronger presence of girl LARPers the situation is still pretty dire for the guy (and 6 others) trying to get the attention of the cute fairy. Chick LARPers are a hot commodity in the LARPing World and we’re all not what we seem to be.

Girl LARPers come with all sorts of interesting stories, skills and features. One has skills with those swords that you would never realize just looking at her while her best friend can heal you before you even realize you need it. The other girl across the camp makes amazing food treats over the camp fire at the same time other girl in the kitchen is burning water but remembers every single rule mentioned in game. Some wear a corset like no other and some wear leather and chain mail like it is going out of style. Can’t forget the girl with the dramatic story of how her parents are the King and Queen, and that girl glaring at her? Well, she’s possessed by a demon.

No matter our skills, features or storylines we all play two games when we come LARPing whether we wish to partake or not. It cannot be detected by the untrained eye while guys are usually completely oblivious even when we do explain it to them… I expect it is how she is wearing her corset that has their attention elsewhere.

When the ‘other game’ is explained to you it usually takes a moment to fully understand the complexity of it. Many other girls when I have asked their opinion full heartedly agree with me that this goes on at any LARP they have ever participated in. While when I bring it up to guys they usually laugh it off until they see it in action. And when that happens, well, let’s just say you should see their jaw hit the ground. What is this ‘other game’ I’m referring too?

Welcome to an inside look on the female LARPer’s Power Struggle. The Cat Fight. The Hierarchy Scuffle.
The clearest way I can explain to you how it works is reminiscing back to my first arrival at a LARP. At this point I was a gentle lamb, inexperienced with the world of vicious felines that dominated the world of LARPing.

I was a tender age of 16 and the leaves were just beginning to loosen their hold on the trees. The air was brisk and the smell of winter was in the air. After months of promising my parents that I was not attending a cult in the woods they finally agreed to let me try my hand at LARPing. Still unsure of what I was getting myself in to, my parents required that I take a friend or two. So hopping in my mom’s SUV with my two best girl friends we take the two hour trip in stride to this new experience. All I can remember is the fear and nerves getting to me… along with the annoyance that my mother kept getting us lost.

When we finally arrived it was the first day of high school all over again. You swear a silence sweeps through the entire camp as every head turns to look and judge the new comers. Remember how I mentioned that girls are far and few between when playing a LARP? Well, not only was I a girl but I had two other girls with me. Let’s just say things became quite interesting rather quickly.

The guys could barely close their mouths fast enough before they were all crowding us to make first impressions. It was overwhelming, uncomfortable and yet extremely empowering to be fawned over that quickly. Don’t deny it women… we’ve all felt that way to a degree.

While the men were trying to gain our favors… the other girls that were already players of the LARP were on the prowl. Like cougars catching the scent of either prey or competition toeing the line. Which you are is figured out very quickly and once your position is decided it takes a lot of work to climb that social ladder. We look at your clothes, your hair, how you carry yourself, your looks, and even your weapons if you’re carrying any. If we decide you are not worth our time you will land low in the pecking order instantly but will not have the constant struggle on your hands to remain high in the pecking order.

You see, we’re very calculating when another female arrives in our territory. We are cold, manipulative and extremely judgmental.

We are women and hear us roar!

As for the girl that we deem competition, be ready to get your claws out. Even the girls that currently play the game who are not friends will band together to put you in your place. If you prove your worth you can literally come in the game and turn the Hierarchy on its head.

Female LARPers can become very loyal to a game and when they are comfortable in their position in their LARP they will do whatever needs be done to have it stay that way. Spread rumors, ignore you, make your weekend unbearable or literally tell to your face you need to back down.

All those men showering us with affection go to our heads and we don’t want to share. We want to be that uber LARP chick that all the bad guys are trying to steal and all the knights are willing to die for. To achieve that status it is easier if there is less competition or if you’re already on top of the pecking order.

There is always an Alpha female at every game. She has the confidence and looks that lands her in the position of moving the chess pieces on the board. And she is constantly present at every event and during every mod. The guys treat her with respect and do not crowd her with their affections unless she allows it. Her costumes are always expensive and look like they were made for her. Even who she is dating, IF she is dating someone is factored into this. Then there is the Beta female, usually the Alpha’s friend OR rival. She still receives the respect of the players and yet… she’s just not Alpha.

If you look closely you can usually spot the Alpha and Beta very easily. Once you have them in your mind’s eye you see the Hierarchy fall into place. The timid one that is friends with everyone. The needy one that is all over the guy that even looks her way. And finally the one that is oblivious to the pecking order and all the other girls are constantly rolling their eyes at. I could go on all day. It is ridiculous how this carries over LARP to LARP. The amazing thing is this is all done silently. Guys, you understand how we talk with looks, sighs and our amazing mind powers that we always expect you to read when we need the dishes washed. Well, we can ‘feel’ when another girls hackles go up and when another girl is weak and needs to be pushed out of the way. No words necessary.

Girls on Staff are usually not included in this battle of wills unless her personality is strong enough to carry her through the bubble that players put us in. We are put in the position of parents and almost looked to as if we’re not worth the time to play these games with. Only because we are usually so caught up in making sure the event runs smoothly and we are all over camp throughout the weekend, we cannot sit down and play these chess matches.

I’m being honest and blunt with you; there is ALWAYS drama between girls at LARPs. We look at everything when assessing other women and if you’re a new girl to a LARP be prepared to be set down fast… only because we know you’re new and therefore more interesting to the guys. Our guys.

Don’t get me wrong, many friendships are forged when LARPing, heck all my friends (including girls) were met through LARPing. There are a lot of nice girls that LARP… actually most of them are. But I’m trying to explain to you what goes on in our heads. We all have that natural instinct to get attention and it’s up to the girl to figure out how she will act upon it. Some of them just become completely mean and blood thirsty, others put up this innocent front while they calculate every move, and finally the rest don’t really give a hoot and just want to LARP.

This dance of wills is something I’ve learned very quickly and early on. Most of the times I rather not partake and just watch as two women silently figure each other out as I am already comfortable with my position and pecking order.
Congrats and good luck, you’ve just had an inside peek to the dramas of being a LARPer girl. Tread carefully and using your new found knowledge you can now enjoy the show.